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March 31, 2010 Published in April Fool's Edition

Del Ray Secession Imminent

By Roger Digilio
Special Correspondent
alexandrianews.org

Rumors sweeping the Del Ray community have been confirmed that a plan to secede from the City of Alexandria has been prepared and is in the initial stage of implementation. This plan would reverse the long-standing annexation of the Town of Potomac into the city and restore the area to independent town status under Arlington County.

City and County officials would not comment but staffers in the Alexandria Planning Office were extremely concerned. ”Do you realize how much work for us there will be if this happens?” one of them asked. “We haven’t had a decent raise in years and now they drop this bomb on us.”

Removal of the fire truck from Del Ray’s fire station is credited with starting the movement by knowledgeable observers. ”This was not fair,” said one officer of the Del Ray Citizen’s Association.

Further grievances arose around Rosemont’s blocking the development of the Braddock Road fields and the owners of the George Washington Masonic Memorial refusing to allow sledding on their hill. “If we can’t get what we need from Alexandria, we must look elsewhere,” said another involved citizen.

Mayor William Euille of Alexandria denied any knowledge of the situation even though he lives in Del Ray. Insiders say that long time residents Marlin Lord and Judy Lowe are jockeying for position as the future mayor of the new town.